Best Week Ever!

At the start of each week, my friend Dina and I exchange a quick e-mail we call Best Week Ever.

It's a sarcastic play on an annoying ritual my firm practiced at weekly update meetings. Our company called it What Went Well. Before we could get any business done at the meeting, everyone around the table shared What Went Well for them in the prior week. It was supposed to be about work. But, since business was weak, everyone would talk about their personal stuff instead. It drove me nuts.

I complained about it to Dina. She laughed hysterically and said, "It's like that TV show Best Week Ever on VH-1! And, you are doing it at the office! That's crazy!" Now, I love checking in with Dina each week for our own personal Best Week Ever.

Dina's in New Jersey and I'm in Miami, so Best Week Ever helps us keep up with each other's lives. And, it's a good reminder of the joy that sneaks into our daily grind.

Here's my list for last week:

• Jay collected a deposit on a big tank! YEAH, FINALLY!


• I got a $250 bonus for recruiting results.


• Dyed Easter eggs with Dominique. Many blue eggs, as that seems to be her fave color these days.


• Got dinner at Chipotle on Sat nite.


• Dave, Liza and Dominique came with us to Linda’s for Easter. Fun day and outing on the boat.


• Now I have Easter leftovers to feed Jay this week; a few nites with no cooking.


• Jay started “guinea pigging” for Nicole’s pilates instructor students. We are having a good time doing it together.


• Mom seemed to like the flowers I had delivered to her rental place in NC. I hired a personal chef to do a clambake for them at the house on Friday. Hopefully she likes that too!


• Jay bought me sunflowers on Saturday.


• Got a free semi-private pilates class on Good Friday


• Had lunch with Yelena on Friday; we are working on my "professional growth."

Just a few simple pleasures. Looking at the list though, I really did have an awesome 7 days. I encourage you to find a friend and share your Best Week Ever. Or, just make a few notes for yourself on Monday mornings. I guarantee it will make you smile.

Thinking in Deficits

Lately I've been in a foul mood, so I took a little blogging break, but now I'm back at it. I'm a little overwhelmed, but still excited, about "being responsible for my own success." I've been talking with people I trust, vetting ideas, and trying to imagine what my future will hold.

Last nite, I had drinks with one of my mentors. She runs her own HR Consulting firm. We met at a Society for Human Resource Management meeting 5 years ago and became friends. She came to my wedding 2 years ago. A networking success story, I suppose.

We talked about how good business partnerships can suddenly go bad. She mentioned a concept I'd never heard put into words before: Thinking in Deficits.

I'm sure there are a ton of books I've never read (or plan to read) explaining this idea. But, I like the way she applies it. My friend believes the moment you begin focusing on "what people owe you" is the moment you deviate from your path to success.

For example, some days, she might have this thought: "Client X doesn't pay me enough for all the work I do for them." This is thinking in a deficit. She works too much, Client X doesn't pay her enough.

So, she forces herself to change her thinking. "I do a lot for Client X. Client X has helped me grow as a professional. Revenue from Client X supports my business, and I am grateful. Now, I will assemble a thoughtful proposal and speak with Client X about rate changes. Then, I will be paid appropriately for my expertise. I will also enjoy working with Client X more."

Ultimately, Client X not paying enough is her problem, not his. Client X doesn't pay enough because she doesn't charge enough. I like this logic. My mentor takes responsibility for her own success. She knows the world doesn't owe her anything, but she has the confidence to go out there and create her own fortune.

I challenge you to avoid Thinking in Deficits this week. Let me know how it goes by commenting on the blog. Good luck!

It's a New Week

Last week was rough week, so today I wanted to let you know where things stand and how we are moving forward.

My partner and I did finally figure out our crap at the office and manage to buy some time to get our advisors to start performing. So, our investors will continue to invest and everyone keeps gettting paid, for the time being. Problem one, solved.

Problem two, my mom came for a visit this weekend, so I was preparing for that while worrying about my business. For those of you that don't know, my mom is dating my father-in-law. Yep, wrap your mind around that one. Awkward stress city. By the way, I clean and cook like a rock star when I am anxious. So the apartment was spotless and the meals were fabulous. And I didn't have to give Mom bad news when she arrived with my father-in-law Friday nite. Problem two, solved.

Problem three, my dad called on Sunday nite. He had to put our family dog, Hank, to sleep. Hank was a 13 year old basset beagle mix, and he lived a long happy life. We got him when I was in college, and he was always a friend to me. I miss him, and I didn't really get to say goodbye. My dad is very sad. He was crying on the phone when he told me. Hank got Dad through a messy divorce and moved with him from NJ to FL. They were buddies too. Problem three is not really solved. But I'm going to go visit my dad soon to hang out. Maybe that will make him feel better.

So we are in a new week, and really a new era for Jay and I. We are building and executing a cool plan to ensure that by the end of the year, we can make career decisions on our own terms. The details aren't all hammered out yet, but we are moving forward, effective today, details or no details. Really, we are working together as a team more than I ever thought we could. Which is good for the plan and good for our marriage too, I think.

In the next post, I'll let you know what we are focusing on and how we are making out.

This is going to be an interesting week . . .

On Monday morning my business partner told me "Well, it's going to be an interesting week." He proceeded to describe a number of problems we are having at the office. Our discussion ruined my generally pleasant cup of morning coffee.

I made it through my day and on Monday nite, I called my mentors. They tried to calm my nerves. I like to map out and pursue strategies systematically. Right now conditions at our office are too uncertain for that path. Quite honestly, on Monday I felt pretty useless and depressed.

So, I poured myself a big glass of wine and sat in our home office (we affectionately refer to it as "headquarters") where Jay was working. I told him I felt useless. He decided to teach me how quote custom aquariums. It was pretty confusing, but gave me a few marketing ideas. Namely, running around in high heels at construction conferences and smiling my way into closing tank deals. Not wanting to turn me into a fish pimp, Jay then had me look at a friendly letter for a client. The client's payment was 8 months overdue. I re-wrote it to be a nasty letter. Hey, it fit my mood at the time.

On Tuesday, Jay's first client called to say he's interested in moving forward with our quote. Today, his other client called to pay the overdue invoice. So, maybe I wasn't so useless after all.

Jay was kind enough to remind me that even when things seem bad, I can still create successes. Despite my mood, it was fun to work with him for a little bit and generate a great result. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Responsible for My Own Success

I was interviewing candidates for a financial advisor position about a month ago and someone told me he "Just wanted the chance to be responsible for his own success."

Apparently his definition of success wasn't being a financial advisor. He opted out of the rest of the firm's interview process, but, oh well. Regardless, hearing that statement from him, I really had an epiphany. Stability and security come with being responsible for your own success. I'm taking it to heart and trying to carve out my own definition of, and path to, success.

I spend most of my time talking with hundreds of strangers, all interested in becoming a financial advisor with North Star Resource Group. Sometimes I meet individuals for interviews, and sometimes I do speaking engagements where I talk about "career search stuff." I learn a lot from interacting with all of these people, and I hope they get something out of meeting me too.

When I'm not talking to strangers, I run an aquarium business with my husband. Gables Aquarium is Jay's labor of love. Most of our dreams are tied up in that business, and despite some difficult days, generally it seems to be going in the right direction.

This blog is the story of my quest for success . . . I hope you enjoy it!